Great Love Affairs?

Great love affairs are all the same in the end and great love affairs that end are like those dreams we long to go back to sleep for.

They are the love songs we catch by chance on the radio to which we hide our tears behind designer sunglasses.

They capture our imagination for as long as the movie lasts but when it ends and the end credits role in the end all that’s left is the popcorn on the floor crushed between the feet of this world and the next.

Great love affairs are afternoon naps in the hottest afternoon sun – bathed in glorious but deep lethargy to which we wake with a start.

Great love affairs are the saliva that runs down your cheek and leave stains on your white linen sheets.

They are the perfume you knew all to well that too soon became a lost smell in a huge crowd that you foolishly go searching for despite any logic that might prevail.

Imagine the darkest day. Imagine the brightest day. Imagine the most bittersweet pain you can, multiply it by infinity and there you’ll find your great love affair.

Imagine table games, a broken chessboard, the scent of a woman, a sad old cinema, a dog that died and a feeble attempt at virtual love letters… there you’ll find your great love affair.

But try, try to wonder about the first time your hands touched, the first time your eyes met, the first words you said to each other, how the breeze made you smell, wonder about how you never got to taste each other not even once in the moments you tried to steal on a hotel garden under the night sky… there you’ll find a great love affair.

Write… read… walk… run… pretend… sleep… don’t sleep… try… don’t try… wish… curse… sing… cry… never do what you want but what you must, and if you must then perhaps you didn’t deserve your great love affair.

And if you let it in for just a second… if for just one moment you dare to dream… you dare to remember… you dare to care… what good would it do? What difference would it make? It’s not as if you can go back in time. It’s not as if you can take back words but you could say the things you never said. What difference would it make? What good would it do?

So wake up, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, feed the dog, feed the fish, feed the kids, put your own dinner on, kiss your spouse (who you can’t bear to hurt), watch some reality TV, go to sleep, wake up and do it all over again but every now again you think of your great love affair.

Turn the dial on the radio. Turn over in bed. Turn the page of the book. Turn off the movie. Turn around to see your lover is not there because only a great love affair is unrequited.

Great love affairs are the memories we trace on our skin through the goose bumps we raised in an attempt to remember what surely becomes nostalgia.


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