Zombies, apes and the living dead

To the ape eye, zombies may seem ugly but they are a beautiful metaphor and for centuries they have been unfairly touted as an allegory symbolic of ape values in society. Prime examples are the connotations derived of them from cult films both new and classic, where zombies have been stereotyped and pigeonholed. These unreasonable comparisons do a great disservice to zombies, who are in actual fact thriving entities contrary to Hollywood portrayals of them. By far the greatest outrage zombies have faced yet is the romanticised depiction of the vampire being desirable, through the incarnation of Robert Pattinson and damned damsel in distress, Bella.

In more recent history apes have evolved into so-called human beings, however, to the zombie nation they are still seen to harbour an ape like culture. Apes find this association highly insulting, as they do not have corrupt mullahs, generals, politicians, leaders or civilians amongst their population. In our present day, real apes have been banished to their diminishing eco-systems or imprisoned in zoos or are being wiped out by the “human race” as a means to retaining power over the zombies and apes.

After 28 Days Later (where it was finally revealed to the world that zombies can actually run and don’t walk around like Frankenstein) and Shaun of The Dead (where zombies became acceptable household pets so long as they were your friend in their past life), they have become acceptable acquaintances, lovers or family members, alongside the human variables, pod people (sheeple), hybrids (part alien and part human) and of course cyborgs (part human and part machine, enslaved to the matrix: 9 to 5s, taxes, mortgages, car loans and reality TV based on some shore or another).

While zombies have had to face a great deal of discrimination, unlike the humans they have managed to make their peace with the apes to some extent – particularly after the end of their cold war in the 20th century. Since then zombies have dedicated their time on Earth into researching God’s beings, leading to the findings of the most tragic of all creations: the living dead. One zombie, a philanthropist and prominent researcher of the living dead, speaking exclusively said, “I often wonder if my driver knows the secrets of the living dead, when he picks me up and listens to Sufi music on radio, whilst I read my notes on the ape mind and stare out the window at birds and contemplate angels.”

Rare zombie literature from the Age of Technological Enlightment shows that the living dead have many sad secrets. Since the creation of the cell, zombies have found that the living deads’ interaction with world has diminished even more. The living dead will almost always get answering machines and won’t leave a message. Their SMS’ will fail to reach recipients of them. Quoting from Willam Zakespeare’s famous zonnet, “the living dead have been substitutes, until one finds the real thing, like a barman waiting for his love, holding a rose and hopping from one foot to the other.”

This zonnet tries to show that the moment in between each one of the barman’s transitions, replicates the living dead’s feelings, easy enough to miss, easy enough to be there but not exactly be noticed. How relevant is it to anyone what leg a barman is standing on, akin to how irrelevant the living dead feel they themselves are?

Other limited zombie literature deals with their melancholy dreams. Much of the living dead have not spoken of their night time visions and what little zombies do know has been salvaged from precious dream diaries and journals discovered. Zombies have found that even ghosts have more resonance as they belong somewhere, even if it is to the underworld, “most of the time the living dead are in a limbo, oscillating between this life and the next. They fade into walls and sink into sands, whilst God’s other creations lean against them and run hands through them, failing to realise what marks they leave on them.”

It is hard to understand the living dead; as there is not much literature, music, art or film on them. It is said that many of them have contributed significantly to each medium – many of them meet an untimely expiration, due to their experiences which began as early as their childhood. Over the years, the most difficult task zombie historians and sociologists have faced, is distinguishing the living dead between supposed humans. Much of the living dead are impersonators, not living real lives, but one’s that have been imposed on them or have been adopted by them in a bid to fit into society, leaving them feeling despair. Famous author and historian, Zark Zain says, “the living dead have been pretending to live for years, and they are voracious in the craft of it, having passed it on from one generation to the next. Most humans would not know the living dead if they came and slapped them across the face. Their cries have almost always fallen on deaf ears and have even resulted in genocide in the history of non-mankind.”

The living dead remain to this day one of the world’s greatest mysteries. As one of their lost souls once so finely said, “I may feel dead inside, but know I’m still alive, if when I lie down at night – my body is able to produce a single tear and my cheek can feel the warmth of it as it falls.”

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