It’s all of this but none of it at the same time.
It’s trying to be too many things at once.
It’s the irony similar to a song you sang on a road trip.
It’s trying to find natural substitutes for sugar-free-sweetner.
It’s when there are no more crash diets left for you to try.
It’s having something to do and feeling like you don’t have enough to do.
It’s spending too much time on Facebook and thinking other people have lives.
It’s looking up at the sky, not seeing enough stars and accepting it.
It’s the realization that where you live, you don’t hear crickets at night.
It’s being all right with not being okay for so long.
It’s forgiving everyone but never really forgiving your self.
It’s asking if anyone will notice if you’re not there anymore.
It’s being too afraid to ask if anyone knows you haven’t been there for a while.
It’s answering a call and being too sad to say.
It’s not picking up the phone and making a call to say you’re too sad.
It’s sending a really long text and not anticipating a reply.
It’s not getting the text and shrugging your shoulders to affirm you’re fine.
It’s telling people things you wished you’d never said.
It’s wandering around because you’re wondering all the time.
It’s missing you and wondering if I’m missing you too much.
It’s being scared of loving you too much and in turn giving you too little.
It’s saying none of this matters – when you know it really does.
It’s being consistently inconsistent and all of the above.